We're about to get into some real, practical tools you can use.

• We will talk about how to catch yourself when that negative self-talk sneaks in and shift it into something that lifts you instead of pulling you down.
• We'll walk through what it takes to build confidence not by making giant leaps, but by taking small, steady steps daily.

This is about creating new habits that help you trust yourself, grow your resilience, and build solid, lasting confidence. It's time to rewrite those old stories that no longer serve you and replace them with ones that reflect who you are and who you're becoming.

Let me tell you why I understand this so personally.

I'm a dyslexic woman who used to spell like a first-grader. I've danced with imposter syndrome. I've had moments where I felt like I just wasn't enough.

Back before spell check was everywhere, I would write everything in Word and sit there waiting for those red squiggly lines to show up so I could figure out what I spelled wrong. I Googled almost every word to make sure it made sense. I mixed up words all the time. I always thought I sounded smarter in my head, but what came out? Not so much.

I've worked hard to get better over the years, and now you might not even guess I ever struggled like that. But it's been a journey.

To the outside world, I might look like I've got it all together successful, confident, talented. But the truth is, I've learned to accept my flaws and own them. I'm open about my dyslexia at work now, but I wasn't always this comfortable.

The point is, don't compare your journey to anyone else's. You never know what someone else has worked through to get where they are.

That thing you see as imperfect in yourself? Someone else might not even notice it. Constantly comparing yourself to others is a game you can never win because there will always be someone who seems to have it "better."

The real win? Staying in your lane, focusing on your growth, and letting go of the urge to measure your worth by anyone else's standards.

If you've ever thought, "I know I have potential, but I can't seem to show it," you're not alone. I've walked that path. I've done the therapy, the mentoring, the courses, the self-help programs, the books. I've done the work and learned what actually helps.

Let's understand why we feel this way and what we can do to change it.

Why do I feel like I don't deserve my success?

Imposter syndrome feels like you're wearing a costume, waiting for someone to pull off the mask and say, "You don't belong here."

You may think your success is just luck. Maybe you feel like other people believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Perhaps you're terrified that one day, someone will figure out you're not as good as they think you are.

But you're not alone in that feeling. It's more common than you think. Even the people you look up to probably feel this way sometimes. The problem is that we usually only see each other's highlight reels. We don't know the doubt, the messy middle, the sleepless nights.

It's easy to look around and think everyone else is more prepared, capable, and deserving. But that's rarely the truth.

When that self-doubt creeps in, remind yourself: Success isn't about knowing everything. It's about showing up and being willing to grow.

When those thoughts tell you you don't belong, push back. Tell yourself: I'm here because I worked for this. I'm capable. I'm allowed to be here.

At first, it might feel awkward or forced. But each time you remind yourself, you're building a new mental pathway that supports you instead of tearing you down.

How do I stop being so scared of failing?

Fear of failure can feel like this huge wall blocking your way. You want to avoid that pain of messing up or being judged. Many of us were taught that mistakes mean we're not good enough. Over time, that belief can get stuck on repeat.

But what if we looked at failure differently? What if it's not a sign of weakness but proof that you're growing? Failure isn't the end. It's part of learning. So many people hide from opportunities because they're scared to mess up. But when you hide from failure, you also hide from growth.

Here's what helped me: I stopped seeing failure as a judgment of who I am. I started seeing it as a stepping stone.

When something goes wrong, remind yourself: This is part of my process. Every step counts, even this one. At first, this shift will feel strange. Your brain will resist. But the more you practice, the more you'll teach your mind to see challenges as opportunities, not threats.

The more you do this, the more your comfort zone will stretch, and you'll realize you're more resilient than you think. Failure isn't the end of the road. It's just another step.

Why is it so hard to believe compliments?

Compliments can feel uncomfortable. You might want to brush it off or deflect when someone says something kind. Maybe you feel like you didn't earn it or don't want to seem full of yourself.

But compliments are gifts. They're someone's way of saying, "I see you. I see something good in you."

When you deflect a compliment, you're turning away that kindness and missing a chance to see yourself in a brighter light. If someone brushed off your compliment, you'd feel a little dismissed. The same thing happens when we ignore the kind words others offer us.

Try this: Next time someone compliments you, pause. Breathe. Simply say, "Thank you, I appreciate that."

That's it. Just receive it.

It will feel uncomfortable initially, but you'll feel more comfortable accepting kindness over time. You'll start to believe you do deserve good things.

Letting in compliments doesn't make you pretentious. It makes you open. You deserve to be seen and appreciated. When the kind words come, take a deep breath, let them in, and know you're worthy of them.

The Tools That Help Me Stay Grounded

Understanding where your self-doubt comes from is like finally turning on a light in a room you’ve been stumbling around for years. Self-doubt doesn’t show up out of nowhere. It’s built from a mix of big and small moments that left an imprint.

• Maybe it was something someone said that stuck with you.
• Perhaps it was the time you looked around and felt like you didn’t measure up.

Those old moments can shape how you see yourself now. But you don’t have to keep carrying those stories.

Here’s what helps:

1. Catch the Negative Self-Talk: I used to think, “I’ll never get this right,” or “I’m just not good at this.” But I learned that just because I thought it didn’t mean it was true. Negative self-talk is tricky. It sneaks in and feels like a fact when it’s usually just an old story. When you hear yourself thinking, “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough,” pause. Ask yourself: “Is that really true?” Then, choose new words. Speak to yourself how you would speak to a friend you care about.
2. Make a List of Your Wins: If you’re like me, you probably breeze past your wins without noticing them. You move right on to the next thing on your list. But every win matters. They build momentum. Start a simple list on paper, on your phone, or wherever. Write down the times you showed up for yourself. The times you tried something new, even when it scared you. The moments you were brave, even in small ways. Over time, this list becomes your evidence. It’s proof that you’re making progress. When you look back, you’ll see how far you’ve come. You’ll start to believe in your resilience.
3. Be Kind to Yourself: We’re often much harder on ourselves than we’d ever be to someone we love. If your best friend came to you feeling discouraged or stuck, you’d remind them of their strengths. You’d tell them to give themselves some grace. You’d say to them they’re doing better than they think. So why not offer yourself that same kindness? When your inner critic gets loud, pause. Close your eyes if you need to. Imagine your best friend sitting across from you, feeling exactly how you feel.
4. What would you say to them? Say those exact words to yourself.
5. It will feel awkward at first. But it gets easier. You are just as worthy of compassion as anyone else.

Start Small. Confidence isn’t built in one big leap. It grows from small, consistent steps. Think of confidence like a muscle. You strengthen it with every little act of bravery, like speaking up in a meeting, asking a question, or trying something new. Those tiny moments add up.

Each time you step outside your comfort zone, you teach yourself to trust that you can handle what comes next.

Over time, you’ll realize you’ve built something steady and real. It’s completely normal to wonder if this growth will last. When you’ve spent years doubting yourself, confidence can feel fragile, as if it might slip away when things get hard.

There will be days when old habits sneak back in. You’ll think, “Maybe I’m not good enough after all.” That’s not failure. That’s just life. Growth isn’t perfect. It’s not a straight path.

Some days, you’ll feel strong. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re back at the beginning. But the truth is that self-belief isn’t about never doubting yourself. It’s about showing up for yourself, especially on the hard days.

It’s about choosing, over and over, to keep going. Give yourself grace. To try again.

Bit by bit, you’ll feel more at home in yourself. The old doubts won’t hold as much power. They’re just thoughts. They don’t get to decide who you are.

One day, you’ll see that you’ve built something solid. You’ll know you’ve created a kind, steady relationship with yourself. Confidence isn’t a magic switch. It’s something you build.

And if you need to hear it again: You are enough, just as you are.